Marriage is a relationship between two healthy adults who are willing to do whatever it takes to make the union successful. Individuals are willing to do whatever family chores need to be done depending on who has the time, not what gender they are. It has nothing to do with getting one’s way or being right.
If parenting is involved in the relationship, disagreements concerning parenting are taken away from the children and worked out so that a united front will remain concerning the children. This is so there is no message given to the children that one parent can be worked against the other. Disagreements between spouses should be dealt with right away and kept to a simmering degree to show children that things can and will be worked out and to show them how it is done.
Romance has to be maintained in the relationship irregardless of how many children there are in the family. Regular dating and attention to romantic gestures need to be attended to in order to keep the relationship actively positive and vital.
Betrayals such as cheating on one’s spouse is a good way to kill your relationship and is the most difficult thing to get over. No amount of marriage counseling will make this pain go away. Prevention is the key to dealing with this issue. If there is ever any temptation in this area, just say no if you love and want to keep your spouse and take your mate out to dinner instead.
Judith Hoffman, LISW-CP